Back in the Saddle Again...

today was a successful day!  i started with the same cereal i had yesterday, but this time i ate it dry...kind of like a snack...it worked ok though.  i didn't get the calories from fat that i had from the 2 servings of milk i had yesterday.  i was able to actually taste the cereal, without the sweetness from the milk...it is pretty good!  i recommend kashi island vanilla shredded wheat to anyone that like sweetness in a cereal, but wants to be healthy.  this cereal is totally organic and there were NO extra ingredients that you have no idea of their origin!  for lunch, i had a great time with my sister, who i have a strained, at best, relationship with.  today was good, though.  i guess we can take it one day at a time...that is the best thing to do.  we ate some chicken and penne pasta with veggies and marinara sauce.  i sprinkled a bit of parm cheese on it and had 2 slices of provolone cheese on the side.  we also had some chicken and veggie gyoza (that's a steamed dumpling, japanese style).  those are very healthy and very good. 

i went to the gym again today and my legs are very tired.  i can tell that they are going to be sore tomorrow.  they are a bit shaky when i stand up.  yesterday i worked my abs and they were sore today.  i am a bit tired today, folks, well, no one has come to visit yet, but when they do they will appreciate my updates!  i am tired, so i am going to head out!  nite nite...

Food, Food, Food

i am determined to make this work, i really am.  yesterday started out really well for me.  for breakfast, i had a muscle milk in vanilla.  that is a good flavor and a good meal replacement, however, i have a sweet taste in my mouth for hours after i drink it and i don't enjoy that so much.  lunch came around and this is what i had:  some broccoli salad, a chicken wing (fried) and some curry rice and chicken.  not really a good choice, but still not fast food, so i am making strides.  for dinner, i had a half of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on wheat bread.  not bad, i suppose.  i didn't work out yesterday, but i sure did on monday and it worked hard!  today, i had kashi island vanilla shredded wheat, mixed with banana nut granola cereal and horizons organic vanilla milk.  that sounds really sugary, i know, but it wasn't.  for lunch i had some neckbones and 1 medium potato.  that was a bad choice all around because the neckbones are full of fat and the potato was just starch!  for dinner, nothing...i worked out tonight and still don't have an appetite.  now that it is 10 p.m. i won't be eating even if i do get an appetite.  i had a great workout and i am looking forward to tomorrow's.  

i suppose this doesn't have to just be a diet blog...i am a bit disconcerted tonight.  my boyfriend is in a bad mood, again...he usually is when he gets off work and there doesn't seem to ever be anything i can do to help him.  he never wants to talk, goes straight to his room and doesn't really have anything to say.  i am not that type of person.  i am a talker and i don't like to be around people and not have anything to say.  he has a few things he is dealing with, i know, and i can empathize with that.  i just remember the days that i was able to cheer him up and no matter how much i try now, i can't do it.  i've tried to find out what the source to that is, but i don't get an answer.  it is always nothing or don't take it personally because it's not about me.  after a while, a girl starts to take it personally when her boyfriend can't even smile when he looks at her...

No more roller coasters...

So, I went to the doctor today because  a friend of mine told me that she has been on Adipex and she lost 60 pounds while on it.  Well, the first call I made was to my doctor to see if there was a chance that I could try that.  That brings me to my appointment today.  In parenthesis I will tell you what my inner monologue sounded like...The first thing she tells me is that she wants me to have a few tests first (so much for fitting into those jeans by my birthday).  We proceeded to talk about dietitians and nutrition and all that good stuff.  Well, here's the problem, and this is what I expressed to her...I know what I should and should not be eating.  I know about exercising and I know that it is not just a numbers game.  It is a chemical game also and I know what my body responds to.  My problem is that I don't listen to my body because my brain, my dear, sweet, sugar loving brain screams for it!  It's almost as if I can't silence the voice if I don't feed it. So, I feed it!  I do well, for a while, and then I fall.  So, she says that while Adipex is a perfectly good solution, it is not necessarily the solution for me.  An appetite suppressant, once it wears off for the day, will not keep the sugar cravings away.  That is ALL ME, my friend.  Well, here's the thing, I want to try the Adipex anyway because I want the push that it will give me.  I want that extra edge that it will provide.  She says ok, but before I do all that, I want to see tests and I want to see food and exercise journals (no problem) and I want to see the accountability factor (huh?).  I want to see how you are holding yourself accountable and how you are going to ensure that this is not a quick fix.  Well, it is a good thing that you bring that up, Dr. A, because I have been thinking of starting a weight loss blog.  Whoa!  She said my generation is into that stuff, that web stuff - not in those words but that's what she meant.  So, here I am...I already had a blog and I haven't used it in about 2 years and I think this is a nice way to bring it out of retirement.  So, do you need inspiration? Here it is...I need to inspire to be inspired and I need YOU to hold me accountable...I will tell you when I fall and I will tell you when I have succeeded.  I am on the road the health and happiness.  I have to do it for myself and the children that I will HOPEFULLY have in the very near future, because I think my time is running out!  This is a life long journey that I am embarking on and I plan to enjoy the ride...hop on!