i have a friend. he is tall, dark and handsome. no, literally. he's a lawyer. he is really sweet. i don't have romantic feelings for him. my feelings for him go no further than lust. plain and simple. i have known him for about 7 or so years and he says that he has had feelings for me the whole time. he told me just recently how deeply his feelings ran and i was floored. i didn't know what to say. i care for him and i love him, but not in the way he wants me to. he said that i made him want to be a better man. he said that he wants to do whatever it is that would make me the happiest person on earth. he said he would do that if he had the power. looks like i can be happy if i let myself, right? no. i don't know why, but i just can't feel attracted to him. it may have something to do with the fact that i don't trust easily. i don't know. or it may have something to do with the fact that i think he is a worry wart. well, i would exactly call him that, but sometimes he acts like a girl. for example. we live in different states. he is in michigan and i am in new york. he has a girlfriend there, but before you say anything you should know that he did not always have the girlfriend. the girl was a girl he was seeing and hesitated to make it official until he knew what would happen with he and i. he only made it official after i began seeing someone. well, he calls me in the morning and he calls at the time when i am in the shower or should be in the shower and should be getting ready to leave, so i don't really have time to talk. when he is not calling me in the morning he is calling me while i am at work. i don't answer my cell phone at work...i think it is tacky. well, so he says to me the other day, "i'm not going to call you in the morning anymore. i wonder if you are not picking up because you are with someone. i don't mean to be a nuisance, but it is really hard to reach you by phone." HUH?! ok, first, you shouldn't call me in the morning because i have to work and i don't want to be late because i stopped getting ready for talking to you. second, so what if i am with someone. you have a girlfriend and that doesn't stop me from calling you. you say you don't mean to be a nuisance, but look. you are complaining about me not picking up and say it is because you don't like the thought that i may be with someone else, but here you are on the other side with a girlfriend. isn't that just a little hypocritical? he says he is my friend, so why not just be happy for me if i have someone to keep me company? he has it, so why is it a bad thing when i do?
so, i guess those can be reasons why i just can't feel for him the way he wants me to. i personally don't really like talking on the phone. it makes my ear hot. i would prefer to text!!!!! but i really can't stand it when someone thinks you are mad at them or you don't want to talk to them if you haven't talked to them for a while. please don't be a mopey molly.
7 comments:
All I have to say is, he lives in another state. He is not where you are, you don't really like him...what's the problem. Out of sight, out of mind! He will eventually get the picture. It's funny, I worte a blog on a similar topic. You can't help what you like, and you'll never be happy if you don't honor your own feelings. You don't have to justify why you don't answer your phone; is he your man? Ok then. Tell your lawyer friend Case Closed.
hi there, lala! i came to your blog by way of our girl DQ...so hope it isn't weird that i'm commenting. i'm sure that it's totally fine--anybody that is friends with DQ is bound to be someone cool. ANYWAY--all that said because the fact that talking o the phone makes your ear hot was the funniest thing i've read/heard today (so far)! i love that and, with your permission, will use it down here in the dirty-dirty as my response when people nag me about not answering my phone...and, girl, they nag the hell outta me. i don't answer b/c people are just too damned comfortable with cellies...just b/c we all have them doesn't mean i can always be reached.
sorry this is so long--don't really have the gift of brevity, ask DQ. but i like ur blog:) will be around:)
ditto to what DQ said. don't force it. it'll NEVER feel right. Sometimes it's just NOT and not meant to be.
i do love ur blog but the white on black is burning my retina (that's how mine was before the redesign... and I couldn't read my OWN BLOG *shakes head*). I'll be back when i don't see little lines on everything I look at! *tee hee*
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Well, you may not like what I have to say, but you insist that I post so here goes :-):
The first thing you wrote is that you want to sleep with him. Obviously there must be some attraction there if you want to sleep with him, because I don't think you would sleep with an ape that you're not attracted to. Secondly, it seems to be that you are just scared to open yourself up to him because you're afraid of getting hurt. The man is madly in love with you, and I think you're trying to find little things about him to find a way out. All I have to say is that I met this guy that was really into me, who I didn't see as a romantic partner, who called me all the time, and I stopped being scared and opened my hear and I fell head over heels in love with him. Now, we're getting married next year.
If a long distance relationship is not your thang, that's one thing, but doen't be surprised if he's willing to move to NY for you.
...it seems to be that you are just scared to open yourself up to him because you're afraid of getting hurt. The man is madly in love with you, and I think you're trying to find little things about him to find a way out.
-you know what divine? you just may be right. i think that is a problem that i have had with every single person i have been involved with since 1999. there is always something that turns me off and i can never put my finger on it. except with one person and alas, he is now married. people tell me that i am afraid of commitment and i don't think i am, but i just might be. i don't know.
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